Self-management is essential

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com - Unsplash

It would probably not be difficult for many workers to recall an incident at work where they witnessed or may have been involved in some unfortunate form of inappropriate workplace behavior.  Incidences of bickering, harassment, bullying, name calling, and other inappropriate behavior reportedly takes place.  For many years business owners, managers and supervisors have recounted their tales of woe to Human Resources and employment placement professionals of how they claim some employees behave at work when interacting with one another, with supervisors and sometimes with customers. More recently there have been reports of large public brawls in public spaces that are meant for leisure and relaxation.

What’s behind all of the unruly behavior among adults in business, professional or public settings?  Cases of harassment of various kinds have been reported for decades and the rude treatment of customers was not uncommon. However, now there are reports of some workers regularly “breaking the wall” between what goes on behind the scenes of an organization and what customers witness.  

One example I heard recently was when two front desk service representatives engaged in a screaming match laced with foul words in the presence of customers. Obviously, a situation such as this should probably result in dismissals for both parties, but what issue was so bad that the adults in this situation could not put it aside or resolve for their own sake if not for the good of the company? It seems some individuals are less able (or willing) to manage themselves, and why is this the case?  It is a cause for great concern because the behavior seems to be increasing and those engaged in it cross all age, gender, racial and ethnic groups. 

 What is at the root of this lack of self-management or even the idea that one should be concerned with such things? Is it not valued because it suggests lack of freedom or authenticity--the belief that, “If I hold back how I feel then I am not being true to myself”, or “others will take advantage of me”?

Since the beginning of the pandemic health professionals are citing that more people are suffering from emotional and mental health issues than before. This may be playing out in the behavior that we are seeing.   Also, for many years now more individuals have been negatively influenced or desensitized by the lack of self-control on daily display via media of all forms, coupled with limited, real human engagement due to over reliance on “connecting” via screens? The go- to phrase for many people to explain the behavior is “lack of home training”.

 If you currently are or have been involved in situations of workplace discord, think of how and why you may be experiencing it or contributing to it. Many people have become less tolerant of toxic work environments since the pandemic, and this has contributed to the "Great Resignation.” If the behavior is chronic then it poisons the environment for everyone –employees and customers alike. In public places meant for entertainment and recreation, it lessens the safety and enjoyment of the experience.  Most businesses cannot succeed for long with a persistently chaotic and unpleasant environment where both the employees and customers suffer.

As worn and dated as the “Golden Rule” may seem to some, it has merit and should be utilized.  Is it so difficult to treat people the way we want to be treated?  Too often some individuals treat people the way they expect to be treated or have been treated in the past. 

Exercising some self-control shows maturity and self-respect. Sometimes, interactions with customers, co-workers and strangers in public places may feel personal, but most often at the core, are not.  Choosing between assertive ways to communicate our position or feelings is more effective than resorting to aggression. 

In the end, it is important to remember that everyone is worthy of respect whether they realize it themselves or not.  

Carlotta Daniels-Randolph is a writer, educator and career and life coach. The Randolph Report is a weekly newsletter on politics, Black culture and career and professional development relevant to African Americans. Every new edition of the newsletter goes directly to your inbox.